Bloody Hell
by gsales
Summary: Good or bad, we can't deny it's a very useful expression. [Jily one-shot, couldn't think of anything better, sorry- rated T to be safe]


**_A/N: hey, everyone! I just found the beginning of this story in my computer, and I wrote it like a couple years ago, but I was inspired and decided to finish it and post it. It's a very simple and cliche "lily and James get together" one-shot, but it was there, so... well, hope you like it!_**

* * *

 _Bloody hell._

Oh, Merlin. No, no , no , no….

It just… It couldn't be happening.

God, no, she didn't deserve it.

It couldn't be true.

She wouldn't have believed it if anyone else had told her this. No, if she had heard that story she would have promptly said "that's bullshit" and walked away. But yet… it _was_ true.

She had kissed James Potter.

She had lost her mind, that was it. Lily Evans had gone nuts.

"Damn it, Lily, how could you…?" she whispered to herself, as she ran faster through Hogwarts' hallways and fought against the tears running through her face.

She finally found herself in front of the Fat Lady and mumbled the password, entering the Gryffindor common room and running towards the girls dorms.

She entered the seventh year's room just to find her two best friends talking loudly. All noise vanished as soon as they saw her face, though.

"Lily, what hap-" Marlene McKinnon started, but was cut off by the sound of Lily crying. She had literally stared at her friends for a second and then burst into tears.

Marlene and Alice exchanged looks before walking to Lily and bringing her to her bed.

They didn't make any questions. They just sat there, holding her, and tried to calm her down. Both of them knew that this was no time for explanations. Lily had been under too much pressure these days, and it was just a matter of time until she collapsed.

Lily couldn't bring herself to stop crying. She hated to be making this scene, and she felt like such a drama queen… But, right now, she just couldn't handle it anymore. She'd been holding it together for _weeks_ , keeping it cool and acting like it was no big deal. And _he_ would help her. Oh, he had been the light in the darkness these days. He would make her forget about everything, and, by his side, it all sounded so _easy_. And then she had to go and _kiss_ him, that stupid prat…

She had a limit, for God's sake!

It was all just _too much_. She was glad she was Head Girl, but there was just so much work, and for the first time in her life she hadn't had time to study enough.. She hadn't been getting much sleep lately, either. She would spend hours writing timetables and essays, and when she finally laid down, she couldn't fall asleep. Things were getting complicated back home. Petunia's marriage was within a month, and she was trying to talk their mother into letting Lily aside of the ceremony. Plus, her father was sick. Not "he's got the flu"-sick, but like _sick_ -sick. The doctors suspected it was lungs cancer, and Mrs. Evans was all nervous, mad and _devastated_ at the same time. Lily felt guilty for all of this. After all, if she wasn't a witch, none of these would have happened, right? She would still be friends with Tuney, and would be there to help her mother and take care of her dad. Instead, she was far away, feeling guilty and stressed and angry, while having to worry about NEWT's and Head Girl's duties at the same time.

Lily Evans was a huge mess. She couldn't even take time to actually _feel_ all of this, because the world was constantly asking for more, and you know what? She didn't have anything else to give! This was literally all she had, and she was exhausted. Honestly, she wished she could just stop and forget everything and run away for a moment. And… sometimes that was the feeling _he_ brought her…. So she couldn't help but falling for him (she had to admit it, at least to herself), and now this feeling was just so much and she's not the kind of person who has a lot of self-control. That's why she wasn't able to stop herself from getting closer and _finally_ kissing him a few minutes ago, when they were working in a report for McGonnagall. He just looked so cute with his brows furrowed and his glasses falling at the edge of his nose, and then he said something stupid that made her laugh, as always and… The next thing she remembered was kissing him, and of course he just did nothing, what was she expecting? Then she realized what she had done and ran away, not bearing to look at his face. She just _had_ to screw this up.

"I- I kissed James.", she said to her friends, when she calmed down a little.

Neither Marlene or Alice seemed surprised. Any kind of extreme reaction would just make Lily worse right now, and they new it.

"I see.", Alice said after some time "What did he say?"

"Nothing.", Lily answered, sniffing, "He just stood there, and I ran away before he could say anything."

"Oh, honey...", Marlene hugged her tight one more time.

They stood silent for a couple minutes.

"It's not only this, you know?", Lily explained, crying again, "I- I can't take it anymore. It's all just too much."

"I know, Lil. I get it.", said Marlene, trying to calm her down.

"I just- I feel like I've just ruined the only thing that was right and felt good about my life. The time I spend with James… He's the only person who can make me forget everything for a while and it feels so good to be with him. Well, _felt_ , actually. Now it's gonna be all awkward and formal. I can't just un-kiss him and obviously he doesn't like me that way anymore."

Alice bit her lip, "I don't know about that, Lil."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, please! The guy is head over heels for you since fourth year, Lily!", Marlene blurted out.

"He _was_.", Lily corrected her, "He clearly got over me, and, honestly, after everything I said or did, I can't blame him. Sure, he was terrible, but...", she trails off.

Marlene and Alice exchanged looks. They knew James was far from getting over Lily, but they made a silent pact not to say anything right now. It was not the right time.

"Ok.", Alice's voice was gentle and calm, "Let's just go to bed now, ok? It's getting late and you need some sleep. We'll figure it out tomorrow."

Lily agreed and went to look for her pajamas. Her warm, cozy bed did seem very attractive right now.

She was so tired that she fell asleep almost instantly when she laid down.

* * *

The next day, she managed to get to breakfast without bumping to him, but apparently fate was not on her side.

He showed up at the Great Hall a few minutes after her and went straight to her, determined,

"Hi, Lily."

"Oh. Hey. James."

She tried to act nonchalant, but it was just so hard and almost painful, and she was pretty sure it wasn't working, 'Oh, Hey. James.'? Who talked like that?

"Can I talk to you for a sec?", he said, sounding almost… nervous?

"Huh.", she couldn't bring herself to form a complete sentence.

"Uh, in private?"

"Oh."

She got up and followed him in silence through the hallways until they found an empty classroom and entered, closing the door. She had to stop her mind from going too far thinking about the things they could do alone in that room. This was not healthy.

He opened his mouth, but before he could say anything she decided to speak and end this torture.

"James, I'm sorry."

"You're… sorry? What for?"

"Yeah, for yesterday. I shouldn't have done that, and I don't want things to get weird between us, so-"

"Lily, please, let me talk. You have nothing to be sorry about. I am."

"You?"

"Yes. I realize that what I did- uh, actually what I didn't do- last night may have sent you the wrong message, and I'm really _really_ sorry for that. I just… froze. It's so stupid, and I don't blame you for not believing in me if you don't want to, but I swear I'm telling you the truth."

"Wh- What do you mean?"

"I mean I- Fuck. Lily… If you knew how many times I dreamed of you kissing me… It's- I just couldn't believe it, you know? Getting to be your friend was like the best thing that ever happened to me, and I was already on cloud 9 because of that. I… I didn't deserve that, you know? You're such an amazing person, and, honestly, you and I know that I was a jerk, so… I was still trying to believe that we were really friends, and then… I'm really, really sorry, Lily. I know that all this drama was the last thing you needed right now, with everything that's going on in your life, and you probably felt bad last night because of this. I feel terrible, really. I'm such a jerk."

"Wait- What are you saying?"

"Isn't it obvious, Lil?", he said, lowering his voice and getting closer. "I'm crazy for you. I have been since the day I noticed you, but, clearly, I've never deserved you. I still think I don't, but-"

"James. Stop.", she said, recomposing herself and smiling. She caressed his face with her left hand. "You really are a jerk. But don't punish yourself for the mistakes you made in the past. You've grown so much, and… You're not that stupid immature boy anymore, you know that. And I admire the man you've become, you know?"

He put his arms around her waist and got even closer. She could feel his breath warm in her face.

"Really, never in my wildest dreams,", he teased.

"Oh, shut up, Potter."

With that, she pulled him closer and _finally_ brought their lips together.

His mind was still spinning, but he did not freeze this time. He tenderly slid his tongue inside her mouth and- _bloody hell._ Now he understood the idea of fireworks in his head. He could not describe the feeling. They moved in such synchrony that it was almost like their mouths were made for each other. Her hand dove in his messy hair, playing with it, and he slid his hands through her body.

She separated their mouths.

"I should have figured you'd be the rushed type."

He just smiled, and was about to bring his hand back to a more, let's say, behaved position when she started trailing kisses down his neck.

Oh, two can play that game.

He started to move his hand softly up and down her thigh, making her sigh. He felt like she was answering when she bit his neck, sucking his skin in a way he couldn't help but moan.

She smiled and he captured her lips again. He was far from having enough of them. Too soon, they had to break apart, searching for air.

"Never thought you'd be the type to leave marks.", he teased back, panting.

She just laughed.

"I'm just marking territory.", she answered, to what he rose an eyebrow "And there's a lot you don't know about me yet."

She blinked and he couldn't help but smile. Actually, they couldn't stop smiling right now.

They kissed again, not so eagerly an desperate as before.

"I swear I'd stay here with you all morning", she said, between kisses, "but sadly, we have Charms in 5 minutes."

"Sadly.", he agreed.

They kissed again, not wanting to stop. It was like they were drowning all these years and now, finally, they reached for fresh air.

Reluctantly, they let go of each other.

"Thank you for giving me a second chance.", he whispered.

She smiled.

"I'm just glad I got a better answer for last night.", she said.

But both of them knew they were talking about something way bigger than that.

* * *

 **A/N: so, what do you think? review and tell me, please! oh, and remember, English is not my native language, so any constructive** **criticism is wellcome! thank you for reading!**

 **xoxo**


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